In a meeting

Why don't I want to be here? There is an actual feeling of not wanting to be here… it's in my stomach and chest. I'm trying to commit myself to being here by sitting next to someone and read one of the readings… be accountable and be seen if I try and escape.

I feel resentment…

Towards me and the meeting. Me for not doing what I really want to do and the meeting for being so happy whether I'm here or not…

I did this today though… I'm sharing about it… trying to figure it out and I was reminded it's okay that just staying clean can be good enough…

That helped for sure… waiting for this… ugh… meeting to start.

You know you want to say something... say it.